Insecurities...

I just had an amazing wonderful weekend and I am left emotionally drained. All in a good way though...Spent the weekend worshiping God and singing His praises.

The topic for Saturday was about insecurities. The sometimes ****scratch that**** almost always arrogant prideful me felt like this message would be better suited for my friends around me. They are always very vocal about how insecure they are about numerous things. Me on the other hand tends to think I am a pretty secure woman. Secure in my marriage, secure in a room filled with skinny women, and secure in accepting my past along with other misc feelings. Well after yesterday I realized my insecurities could build the world's largest building.

The previous things mentioned still hold true. I am pretty secure in the average feelings department. However I realized (and I don't think this was Beth Moore's intention) that my security in God's love wavers a little bit. Let me rephrase that. I sometimes doubt how great my value is or will be for the purpose of God.

I don't doubt my salvation or that God loves me. I accept His death on the cross for my seat in Heaven. I don't just accept it, I fall humbly on the floor and praise Him for it.

But why me? How can all of my sins that add up to infinity be diminished with a drop of blood? The bad thing is that I haven't stopped sinning and I won't. It is impossible. I can't be perfect. What can I bring to the table that adds anything of value?

Some days I think I am invincible under God's grace and other days I wonder why how my name can be spoken on Jesus' breath.

By the end of the conference I have learned practices and ways to avoid the stages of insecurity. The most important way is to read God's Word daily. To read it, live it, believe it, and most importantly to trust it.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."

John 14:1-4

...and through His word I do not doubt my worth to the kingdom of God.

God bless to all of my faithful followers and friends...