It took me literally 9 years and 10 months of a fabulous marriage to realize that perfect love doesn't exist. Uh oh!!! I know what you all are thinking. What happened? Absolutely nothing wrong or intense happened but for the first time I opened my eyes and saw before me a sinner just like me. I know that I have written this before about being married to a perfect sinner but I just can't reiterate it enough. Why such high expectations of a person who is just like you?
I see a lot of friends near me that have been searching and keep searching for a companion. I couldn't imagine years and years going by and feeling alone or heartbroken at every turn. I met Phillip at the age of 19 and my life before that seemed like a long eternity of heartaches and tears. So I deeply sympathize with people who are in their 20's, 30's, and so on and on who keep searching for that right someone. How much more devastating is the one who truly believes that they have found a perfect soul mate only to be rejected and cast away after a few months, a few years, or a long marriage and kids later.
Now let me just say that I hope and pray to have a marriage that last this lifetime and into Heaven. I don't try to sound like I am so independent and so good that I don't need this marriage. It would shatter me if I lost it. Now saying that let me say I NEED something more. I need my relationship with God. I have to say good morning to my Father before I even care to turn over and see my husband's face. I want a goodnight kiss every night to feel secure and loved from Philly but I MUST have a one on one intimate conversation with my Maker to feel complete and whole. Make sense?
I don't know what happens after this life when it comes to our loved ones. I have my own personal thoughts and hopes but NO one knows how relationships and memories work and evolve in Heaven. Guess what thought? In the end it won't matter because we won't feel loss or regret because we will finally have PERFECT LOVE!!!
A lifetime with Phillip is a blessing but forever is not long enough with God. It just isn't. My heart would break into a million pieces if at this point forward my Father turned His back on me. Trust me a broken, rejected, or lonely heart will pale in comparison to that of not spending eternity with our Maker. So don't give up hope if at right this moment you don't have a partner. Not all is lost. In fact all is to be gained. Your salvation, your eternity, and an endless lifetime with the One and Only.
"For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights."
It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights."
2 Samuel 22:32-34
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