"But what can I say? He has spoken to me, and he himself has done this. I will walk humbly all my years because of this anguish of my soul. Lord, by such things men live; and my spirit finds life in them too. You restored me to health and let me live. Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back. For the grave cannot praise you, death cannot sing your praise; those who go down to the pit cannot hope for your faithfulness. The living, the living—they praise you, as I am doing today; fathers tell their children about your faithfulness. The LORD will save me, and we will sing with stringed instruments all the days of our lives in the temple of the LORD."
Isaiah 38:15-20
Okay so why was today so great you are wondering? I did something I never thought in a million years I would do or would understand why to do it. I fasted all day from food. For those who know my love and obsession with food you are like "WHAT????" So as long as this last hour I don't open the fridge to attack everything I see it was a successful day. I am typing right now with such a ferocity and a growling stomach but all is good my friends. ALL is so good.
Let me begin apologizing for the thoughts that came to my head when I use to hear people talk about fasting. I never understood and couldn't see how a rational person could hear God. I mean they had to just be hearing their hunger. Usually when people fast too it is for the reason of losing weight or cleansing your body of toxins. No matter what the reason I didn't understand it. Although I could see how many people would assume I would do something like this just to shed a pound or too. I know that is what Phillip thought when I just told him what I had done today.
Yes I waited all day before I told him or anyone really. Except for one of my crazy girlies that I vent too I wanted to keep this goal just to myself. If fasting was to glorify God then the only person who really needed to know was....well God.
"But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that your are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."
Matthew 6:17-18
Okay so where did this idea originate from? Once again I was listening to Focus on the Family yesterday and the guest speaker was talking about her struggle with weight loss. (We all know I have a struggle with weight loss.) However I decided that since I felt God talking to me last week about my raging temper that maybe He was talking to me again. So I listened...
Quite honestly the weight thing went in one ear out the other but then she talked about idols. HELLO!!! That we all have idols that we daily place in front of God. So I started thinking...and thinking...and listing....what things do I place above God daily that turns them into idols?
Here goes; food, chocolate, Facebook, buying clothes for a 3 year old girl, Twilight series, Young and the Restless, vampire shows on TV, vampire books (I know weird obsession for a 33 year old), and more food. These are all things that I focus more attention on and obsess over without thinking of God. One crazy thing I realized is that my two favorite things in this Earthly world being Phillip and my kids aren't idols. My relationships with them go hand in hand with God and I daily lift them in praise and prayers. So after looking at my pathetic list of idols of course FOOD screamed out at me. So I took a leap of faith...
Today was easy and hard at the same time. I took every second I could steal from work to focus on God's word. I didn't have a single desire at lunch and was flying high into the afternoon. Getting home was like a kick in the stomach but I stayed strong even while feeding my kiddies their yummy dinner. Not a bite and not even a lick. I realized for me to survive the evening I had to dig deeper in God's word or be with Him anywhere I could find Him. Hint. Hint..Play with my kids and surround myself with their laughter. No TV even came on tonight. I started reading the "grown up" Bible out loud to the kids while they played. Every once in a while one of them would look up to question a word. "Mommy what is glowing embers?" Psalm 102 After putting them to bed I dived deeper into passages and handled with ease what I thought would be the hardest part of the day (me being alone with no one to watch me eat). I talked to Phillip on the phone and for the first time admitted what I was doing. Expecting laughter I was shocked to hear amazing words of encouragement and acknowledgement of seeing me try real hard the past few weeks and doing things better; at trying to be better. It was a nice comforting feeling.
Now here I am getting to ready to put a period to the end of this day. What are the accomplishments? Well God was with me and while I had to focus on Him to get me through my struggles He allowed me to focus on a lot of other things that were more of a priority. For instance I thought a lot more about my volume issue with the kids and what I needed to do to get my points and threats across. (Had an amazing night with my babies and we had a truly drama free blessed evening.) I was more open to prayers and needs of others around me and if I know you trust me I prayed for you my dear friend. The big discovery was I thought I needed my chocolate before this and now I know I only need my God. He is the only thing that can get me through a successful day. Amen...
This isn't a life change and by no means am I giving up food but today is going to be etched in my soul for a long time. I am going to attempt to commit to doing this once a month. Just a check and balances to make sure there is nothing else that is rising above my Lord. I didn't think I would have the strength but with God no mountain is too high and no valley is too low.
"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory."
Colossians 3:1-4
God bless to all of my faithful friends and followers.
Way to go girl. That is exactly what God had planned for fasting. Just like I was talking about at OTB with us Catholics and Lent.. giving up sweets is a daily reminder that I can make a small sacrifice by turning down things I want. Each time I am tempted I remember what my purpose is.. to put myself in the mind frame of preparing to celebrate God's ultimate sacrifice. I am proud of you!
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